Visiting Friends

Like old friends, stories are always there for us when we need them. Like friends and friendships, the stories grow and change. We read and relate to different parts of them at different times, but I believe our favourite stories and our favourite friends, those that tell us the most about ourselves, often in ways we otherwise can’t express, are always carried in our hearts.

One of my stories that feels more like a friend is Sex And The City. Like many of you out there, no doubt, I encountered SATC for the first time after one of those confusing First Grown Up Break Ups. I walked down to my local DVD store, and rented the first couple of discs of the first season, mainly as a way to pass the time. Within the first five minutes, I was smiling, and within the first ten minutes, I’d laughed for the first time in what felt like an age. By the end of the first episode, I’d completely forgotten about whatsisname, and was irrevocably in love with Mr Big. It also lead me to wear some ridiculously oversized floral corsages, in the style of Carrie. Whether or not this was a good idea, only time will tell…




As any anthropologist worth their salt will tell you, the stories that we tell ourselves, as individuals and as a society, reveal a lot about ourselves. Take fairy tales, for instance. They’re a fusion of patriarchal and Christian values, folk traditions, and useful advice – scatter stones if you’re lost in the forest, don’t take lollies from strangers, don’t eat the porridge of strangers – actually, just avoid strangers and their foodstuffs altogether. Good advice.

Just like fairy tales, SATC isn’t at all realistic – no-one, in real life, could live life like the gals do. But the SATC story had a germ of reality that meant that I, and my close friends, kept returning to those stories. SATC became a guidebook to the confusing world of dating and men we found ourselves faced with, a terrain which our loving, well intentioned mothers didn’t know or understand. Particular episodes are like well thumbed pages of books that I watched – watch - when the need was – is - especially pressing. 2008, for me, will be the year of that episode from season one where Carrie throws a Fillet O’ Fish at Big, after he announces he’s leaving her, and their relationship, for Paris. Watching that episode evokes that year like nothing else.

The two films that were spinoffs from SATC met a mixed reception. I saw the first one with a dear friend of mine, who, not being a fan, sat patiently through the film with me while I ooohed and aaaaahed and had the time of my life, for I loved that first film to tiny smithereens. All of it. Every last bit (that poor friend of mine deserves a medal for their stellar performance in the friendship Olympics, then and always).Yes, I could see that it had changed from the first series – perhaps it was slightly more materialistic now than it was, a little louder and brasher – but I could see through all the shiny new clothes and the make up and see my old friend – that SATC story.

It was only last night that I decided it was time to drop in on my old friend’s latest incantation – SATC 2. I’d heard lots of horrible things about my story-slash-friend. I’d heard they’d sold out. I’d heard the years hadn’t been kind. I’d heard I would hate it.

I loved it from the opening bars of the theme tune.

I think what made SATC 2 and I fall right back into high-heeled step was that although the costumes have changed (for the worse), the story is the same. The story revealed myself and my culture, consoled me with its familiarity, and made me feel like I could make sense of my world. Really, it was like afternoon tea with an old friend. Yes, SATC was a different woman to who she was when we first met 6 (oh my word!) years ago. But deep down, her story’s the same - that good friends matter, that they’re worth time and effort, and that they are as extraordinary and precious as black diamonds (as an aside, I am completely in love with Carrie’s ring – amazing).

Yes, Sex And The City is (pun alert) Carrie-d in my heart. And what esteemed company it keeps there.