A Manifesto for Recessionistas: Trannies in the Closet

One of the great tragedies of my life is that I can’t buy as many clothes as I would like. In financial, ethical and spatial terms – my closet is groaning - I have to think very hard before I’m willing to make a purchase.

As the mornings in out delightful nation’s capital crisp up, and the leaves start turning, chain stores and boutiques begin rolling out the new season’s stock. I’m sure that every fashionista looks forward to seasonal change over as much as I do – it’s like the beginning of the fashion footy season, working out which styles have been pensioned off to the backbench and assessing the merits of the upcoming stars. Financially, though, all these new goodies artfully displayed in shop windows can be rather a hazard to those of us on a budgetary shoestring.

Enter the Trannie. Now, I’m not referring to a transvestite or a transsexual – although I feel that both of these social groups have significant aesthetic contributions to fashion and our understandings of gender. But that’s a homily for another time.

What I mean by Trannie is a Trans-Seasonal-Wonder. It’s a little trick I discovered a few years ago and it’s made my life so much more fabulous. Some pieces of clothing, with careful styling, can cross seasonal boundaries with the right accessorisation, effectively doubling the amount of times you will wear them with a little bit of careful planning. When you start to think in Trannie terms, it makes sense to purchase that lovely summery frock – because you know that you’ll be wearing it right into May and starting again in August. Likewise, you’ll be able to assess what you need to buy this season in a more rational light – being aware, for instance, that that woolly long sleeved dress at three hundred dollars isn’t going to give you much of a return on the purchase price unless you are planning to wear it every other day from May-August. But that short sleeved Galaxy dress on the hander next to it will certainly earn its keep in your closet.

To illustrate this point, I’m offering some seasonal descriptions of Trannie dressing, to show how the same dress can be worn throughout the better part of the year. For arguments’ sake, I’m specifically thinking of a rather brilliant yellow and orange sixties-print cotton wrap dress that the ever-amazing MiMi Goss passed on to me. It’s the quintessential summer dress – cheerful and floaty – which just serves to illustrate my point all the better: that even the most ‘seasonal’ of clothes can be reworked in such a way as to give them multiple possibilities.

On a forty degree January day…I would wear the dress completely by itself, with a pretty red bra underneath so that I could wrap the front more loosely. If you’re going to bra flash, at least be self-aware here and make the bra a part of the outfit’s aesthetic. A narrow eighties gold stretchy belt highlights the waist, without being so thick and so tight as to impair air circulation around the waist. Big gold accessories – oversize earings, layers of bangles, a few rings, gold Melissa tote – draw attention away from the body, which can look a bit bloated and engorged when the dress isn’t held in by a wide waist. But when temperatures are so hot you can cook an egg on your front step, it’s time to take a more relaxed approach to your body. People won’t notice your upper arms or other parts you prefer to keep hidden if you look cool and chick in the heat, and if you employ some clever visual tricks to move the eye away from the parts you don’t like. Flat leather Jesus-type sandals with cute tooled-leather detailing is my footwear of choice – heels are unthinkable with my propensity to swollen feet. Massive square shades and a dash of sandalwood essential oil complete the look – regular perfume, in this heat, reacts badly with my skin and the floral fragrances I tend to favour can become overpowering in the heat.

On a twenty eight degree February day…not quite hot enough to justify exposing my flabby upper arms, so it’s time for a little cap sleeved cotton cardi and a wide belt in a similar colour to the cardi to pull it all in and give that flattering wasp-waist look – wrapping the dress as tightly as possible helps here too, and makes the fullness of the skirt more apparent. Because it’s a bit cooler, the wide belt won’t be an issue, particularly if it’s leather, and the cardi will provide some welcome coverage. A nifty pair of heels lengthens the leg line and gives a lovely curve to my ankles. A quick stroke of some shimmering body crème of highlighter along the front of my legs highlights the summer colour my skin’s picked up. A neat Glomesh purse adds to the retro-styled feel and, if I had the time, I’d put some soft waves through my hair. A dangly necklace that draws attention to some fairly spectacular cleavage – generated by the tight wrapping and wide belt – and draws the eye in towards the parts of the body I want to show off. As it’s still quite warm, I’d finish with a spritz of something light and summery. As a child of the nineties, Tommy Girl is the clear winner for me, but something else light and sweet would also do a treat – Clinique Happy or L’eau de Issy would work nicely too.

On a nineteen degree April day…I need a little bit more warmth. In come the black opaque stockings and boots. Keeping the stockings and boots in the same shade – black, most usually for me – helps make your legs look long and slender. Choose boots that hug your ankles, further showing off the loveliness of your legs. A burnt orange silk camisole – technically it’s sleepwear, but who cares when it’s so pretty – under the dress adds an extra layer of warmth without too much bulk. A long sleeved cardi – probably not in wool, the sun’s still shining after all – held into the waist with a wide belt adds warmth, covers my arms, and again creates that wasp-waist which is so appealing. On days like today, it’s my great pleasure to raid my scarf collection – as I have a rather long neck, scarves look lovely on me, and also have the advantage of breaking up the large expanse of my chest area – I choose a pretty silk one and wrap it several times, as a full pashmina would probably be overkill. A cute pair of suedette gloves is a must, as someone who suffers from cold hands. Finally, jewellery. As I’m wearing a scarf a necklace would be lost, so some fun earrings and a funky brooch pinned to my scarf is the bling of choice. A large red leather tote harmonizes with the autumnal hues in the landscape. Perfume comes into its own in autumn – the cooler temperatures make it easier to wear on the skin, so feel free to wear whatever suits your mood on the day.

On a ten degree June day…now here is where you really have to pull out all the layering stops and rug up. Start with a couple of pairs of tights – to keep it interesting, layer an open lace or net tight over a solid opaque stocking, in the same colour for a textured effect or go for contrast – eg red opaque stocking, grey macro-nets. It’s up to you how much attention you draw to your legs – but I’d be inclined to go bold as we all need a bit of a boost in winter. Boots with a thick pair of woolly socks to keep your toes tosty warm also helps. Then it’s time for your top half – layer a long sleeved scoop-neck tee shirt under the dress. My layering items of preference are usually fine gauge wool or silk/cotton blends because they’re comfortable to wear, warm, and don’t add bulk. You can then add a cardigan over the top and belt the whole thing together if the cardigan is fine gauge, or, if it’s chunky, I’d be inclined to belt the dress only and leave it open. This is the perfect weather for scarves, so embrace it and bundle up – you can wear more than one scarf twisted together to give extra warmth and a bit of a colour burst too. Gloves, again, come into their own here – I’d leave the suedette ones at home though in preference for fine cashmere or leather, which will keep your fingers warmer. Finally, a coat should top the ensemble off. I have several coats of varying weights, and I find that, as many building are heated in the winter, a super-bulky coat can be a pain to lugg about the office or the library when you don’t need it – depending on what you have on in your day, it might actually be better to go for a lighter, more transportable coat than that super-bulky number appropriate for the arcitc. As there’s a lot of layering going on already, I’d keep the jewellery and the bag simple – perhaps a brooch on your coat lapel and that red leather tote that’s got a nice clean line.

As you can see, layering is the key to the Trannie look – dresses with cardigans, skirts with tights and boots, polo necks under summer tops – which means that the Trannie aesthetic finds its spiritual home with those of us who embrace the more bohemian look and lifestyle - a shout out to all my perpetual students while I’m here. Having said that though, I firmly believe that Trannie-ism is for everybody, versatility being its defining characteristic. If you’re an office worker, like my dear friends Clementine Kemp and Kitty Gilfeather, and MiMi Goss, the Trannie can work just as well for you too. In professional situations, clean lines and layering under your outer clothes rather than over, keeps you looking sharp while making the most of your existing wardrobe. So, for instance, if you want to extend the life of that gorgeous Veronika Maine summer office dress, pop a fine-gauge wool polo neck underneath for extra warmth, along with a pair of opaque stockings and some boots. With a couple of tweaks, you’ve just doubled the wear you’ll get out of that dress. Indeed, if you encounter some really chilly weather, you can further layer with a neat cardigan – again, in a fine gauge knit to keep the look professional – over the dress/polo neck combination, and hold the whole thing together with a wide belt. So long as you keep everything in fine gauge, you’ll look fabulous and keep warm. Come spring and summer, you’ll gradually be able to remove your layers, and enjoy another season of wearing that little shift dress or that floaty frock. Because, let’s face it, we’ve all got a bit of Trannie in our closet, and there’s not time like the present to bring it out...